Lessien's Random Life!
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"Sh'right. I can so see me and my boyfriend playing patty-cake under the table." Lessien the Dateless rolled her eyes at Abby the Sarcastic, who looked up at her in shock.
"Wow," Abby the Sarcastic stated. "That's a word I never thought I hear coming from your mouth."
"What?" Lessien the Dateless responded absently. "Patty-cake?"

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Mother the Anal-Retentive leaned back thoughtfully. "You know," she said, "Next year, you may not be here for your birthday."
"That's okay," Lessien the Dateless responded. "I'll come down here." with a smirk, she continued, "Even if I have to take two busses and a train to get here, I WILL BE HERE."
Mother the Anal-Retentive laughed. "I was thinking we could come up there." Her words had barely left her mouth before Lessien the Dateless raised her eyes to her is horror.
"NO!" she emphasized, her eyes wide. "Don't do that!"

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You've entered a realm of mavericks where Osama bin Laden and the Black Ninja are favoured to win the Super Bowl.